Introduction[]
The preschoolers are gathered around Miss Morgan who plays an autoharp.
Kids: (sing:) “There was an old lady who swallowed a goat / Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat / She swallowed the goat to catch the dog / She swallowed the dog to catch the cat / She swallowed the cat to catch the bird / She swallowed the bird to catch the spider / That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her / She swallowed the spider to catch the fly / But I don't know why she swallowed that fly / Perhaps she'll die!"
Instead of singing, Emily looks thoughtful.
Miss Morgan: "There was an old lady who swallowed a horse."
Kids: "She died of course!" (laugh)
Miss Morgan: Wasn't that fun, boys and girls? Okay, everyone, time for a nap. Find your places.
The kids roll out their mattresses.
Emily: I don't understand that song. Why did the old lady swallow a horse?
D.W.: To catch the goat.
Timmy: To catch the dog to catch the cat to catch the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled...
Emily: I know all that. But why? Why'd she swallow the fly in the first place? That's gross!
Tommy: I don't know. I'd eat a fly if it was covered in chocolate.
Timmy: Would not!
Tommy: Would too!
Timmy+Tommy: (struggle)
They roll on the floor fighting. D.W. drops a blanket over them.
D.W.: Emily, people do all sorts of strange things for no reason at all. Look at those guys! She points to the blanket. (yawns)
She curls up and closes her eyes. Emily lies down and looks at the ceiling.
Title Card: Buster Roars (Horse)[]
The preschoolers are playing in the yard. James pushes D.W. on the swing.
D.W.: Higher, James! Come on! Put some muscle into it! She sees something glinting in the sandbox. Hold it! She knocks over James and gets off the swing. She finds a glittering blue ball in the sand. Hey, this is pretty!
The Tibbles come running and try to grab the ball.
Timmy: Let me see! Let me see!
Tommy: Give me it! Give me!
Timmy: It's mine, let go of it! Let go!
Tommy: Give it!
The ball bounces to Emily, who catches it.
D.W.: Hand it over, that's mine!
Emily: No, it isn't. I...I dropped it earlier.
D.W.: You did? Well, where'd you get it?
Emily: Marie-Hélène gave it to me. She, um... she brought it back with her on her trip to France. Ahem. It's called a cheval. That's French for ball.
D.W.: Okay. Emily smiles. Hey, maybe Marie-Hélène has another cheval for me. I'll ask her about it when she comes to pick you up from school today.
She leaves.
Emily: (gulps)
***
The parents are picking up their kids in front of the preschool.
Emily: Um, you know, Marie-Hélène may not be able to talk to you, D.W. She's really, really busy.
D.W.: Oh, this won't take long.
Mrs. Read waves from her car.
Mrs. Read: D.W.!
D.W.: Mom! Can we just wait one minute? I have to ask...
Mrs. Read: Sorry, honey, I’ve got yoga class in fifteen minutes.
D.W. gets in the car. Marie-Hélène drives up behind.
Emily: There's Marie-Hélène. Gotta go. See you, D.W.!
She gets into Marie-Hélène’s car and they drive past D.W. D.W. looks suspicious.
***
Marie-Hélène and Emily sit in the living room watching TV and eating tarte.
Shelby (on TV): Doctor, will she be all right?
Doctor (on TV): She'll live, but we've discovered something, Shelby. Kara is your twin sister.
The doorbell rings. Emily looks out the window and sees D.W. and the Tibbles outside.
Emily: (gasps) I'll get it. Stay here and tell me what happens.
Emily opens the door.
D.W.: Hi, Emily. Is Marie-Hélène at home?
Emily: Erm, yeah... but you can't come in.
Timmy: Why not?
Emily: Because... because she's sick!
D.W.: She is?
Emily: Yeah. Really sick. The doctor said it might be something called... um... halitosis. It's very dangerous. (coughs) I may be getting it too, but come on in if you want. Just try not to breathe too much. (coughs)
Tommy: Um, that's okay. I have to go home... right now!
Timmy: Me too. He pulls some flowers from a bed and gives them to Emily. Here, get well.
The Tibbles run off.
Marie-Hélène: Emily? Who is there?
Emily: It's just D.W. I've got it. Don't get up, you need your rest! Poor Marie-Hélène. Gotta run!
She closes the door. D.W. looks suspicious.
D.W.: Hmm...
Emily comes back to the living room.
Marie-Hélène: Where is D.W.? Didn't you invite her in?
Emily: Oh, she was in a rush. She just stopped by to give me these. She puts the flowers in a vase on the table. Want some ice-cream on this?
She takes the plates to the kitchen.
***
In the kitchen, Emily gets ice-cream out of the freezer.
Emily: (sighs) She climbs on a stool and puts scoops of ice-cream on the tarte. Suddenly she notices D.W. standing at the glass veranda door. Ahh! (coughs)
***
Arthur, D.W. and Kate are in the supermarket with their mother. Kate keeps dropping a bag of chips.
D.W.: I just know she's lying. I mean, who eats ice-cream when they're sick?
Arthur: I do. So do you. Everyone does.
D.W.: That's true... Okay, maybe it was the way she was scooping it, like she had something to hide.
Arthur: Maybe Marie-Hélène really is sick.
D.W.: Of course you would defend her, you are a snowball thief! Arthur stoops to pick up the chips. Looking over him, D.W. sees Marie-Hélène at the checkout. A-ha! There's your proof! Arthur looks, but Marie-Hélène has just gone.
Arthur: What? What am I looking at?
***
Emily walks into preschool and puts an apple on Miss Morgan’s desk. D.W. and the Tibbles sit at a table.
D.W.: Sit here, Emily. Emily walks over to them looking uncomfortable. (faked concern:) How are you feeling? Are you feeling better? You seemed really sick yesterday.
Emily: Um...yeah, much better. I, um... took some medicine.
Tommy: Ha! You're lying!
D.W.: Oh! Tommy! You ruined the trap. You're supposed to wait until she says Marie-Hélène is still sick.
Tommy: Sorry, I forgot.
Emily: But... but she is still sick.
D.W.: Oh, really? Then why did I see her buying strawberries at the supermarket?
Emily: Because... because... that wasn't Marie-Hélène. That was Hélène-Marie, her twin sister.
Timmy+Tommy: (gasp)
D.W.: Oh, come on!
Emily: What? My parents had to get someone to take care of me now that Marie-Hélène is in the hospital.
Timmy: The hospital?
Emily: Yes, her halitosis has gotten much worse. Hélène-Marie is so worried about her. We all are.
Timmy: I would be too.
He sneezes into a handkerchief and passes it to Tommy, who sneezes into it too and offers it to Emily. Emily wipes her cheek with her own handkerchief.
D.W.: I give up!
She takes her bag and goes to sit beside James, who looks delighted to see her.
***
The phone rings in Emily’s house. She answers it in her nightgown.
Emily: Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs. Read. Hold on. I'll get her. Mommy! She'll be right down.
Mrs. Read pours herself coffee in the kitchen.
Mrs. Read: D.W. just told me about Marie-Hélène, Emily. This must be so hard for you. Emily? Hello?
Emily: Actually, my mom just stepped out, Mrs. Read. I'll have her call you. Bye! Emily’s mother comes down the stairs. Never mind, it was a telemarketer. I'm going to bed. I don't feel so well.
***
Emily lies in bed.
Emily: (moans)
In her dream, Emily rides a talking, but otherwise non-anthropomorphic, horse through a dark forest during a thunderstorm.
Emily: Where are we going?
Horse: Anywhere we can! She's after us!
Emily: Who?
Horse: Her!
A giant D.W. is coming after them.
D.W.: Come back here, you lying liar!
Emily: (gasps) Faster, faster! She mustn't catch me!
The horse stops at a cliff.
Horse: (neighs)
Emily: Oh, no! It's a dead end. What are we going to do?!
Old Lady: Psst. Over here. I can help you.
A lady is standing in front of a cottage by the cliff. Emily rides into the cottage.
***
Inside is a room with several covered dishes. The horse sits on a chair holding a teacup in its hooves. Emily looks out the window as the lady pours lemonade in a glass.
Old Lady: You poor dears. You must be famished. Running away from that giant.
Horse: Actually, I am quite peckish.
Emily: Are you sure we're safe here?
Old Lady: Oh, yes. Don't worry about a thing. I have magical powers that will protect you here. Why don't you try one of these?
She uncovers a plate with several flies on it. Emily eats one.
Emily: It doesn't taste like anything at all. What is it?
Old Lady: A fly.
Emily: A fly?! I didn't want to eat a fly. Buzzing is heard from inside her belly. Aah! I can feel it buzzing!
Old Lady: Yes. They disagree with me too sometimes. Best thing for it is to eat one of these.
She uncovers a plate with live spiders.
Emily: (gasps)
Old Lady: And if the spiders upset you, you just chase it with a bird. She uncovers a plate with a crow, which flies away cawing. Then a cat! Then a dog! Then a goat! She uncovers the other animals. Well, tuck in. Don't be bashful.
Emily: You're the old lady from that song! There's no way you could have eaten all these things.
Old Lady: Well... Oh... maybe I told a little fib, and then I couldn't stop telling them. (laughs)
The roof is lifted off the cottage by the giant D.W.
Emily: Oh!
Old Lady: I... um... don't have magical powers either.
D.W. grabs Emily.
Emily: Aaah!! I'm sorry, D.W. I don't know why I lied. Please! I'll give you the ball.
D.W. closes the roof, leaving the old lady and the horse alone.
Old Lady: I suppose it wasn't a complete lie. Who knows? I just might wind up eating a horse.
She opens the oven door.
Horse: (neighs in fear)
Emily wakes up in her bed.
Emily: (gasps, breathes heavily)
She drinks a glass of water.
***
In her parents' bedroom, Emily touches her sleeping mother's shoulder.
Emily: Mom! I have to tell you something.
***
Emily is standing in front of the swingset at preschool. Timmy, Tommy and D.W. are sitting on the swings.
Emily: So then...I had to tell another lie to cover up the first lie, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger.
Tommy: So... there is no Hélène-Marie?
Emily shakes her head.
Timmy: Oh. He takes out a blue and a red necktie. We were gonna give her these, so people wouldn't confuse her with Marie-Hélène.
Emily: I'm sorry, Timmy.
D.W.: But why did you lie to us in the first place? We're your friends.
Emily: Because I wanted this. Here, it's yours. You found it.
She gives D.W. the ball.
D.W.: All that lying for a little rubber ball? You can keep it.
Emily: No way. After all the trouble it caused me?! I never want to see that thing again!
D.W. throws the ball down. It hardly bounces.
D.W.: It doesn't even bounce that well. Let's leave it here. Wanna play tag? You're it!
She tags Emily, then she and the Tibbles run away. Emily hesitates for a moment, then she smiles and follows them.
James picks up the ball, looks around, and surreptitiously puts it in his pocket.