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"I'm Not Scared of Santa" is track 13 of the album Arthur's Perfect Christmas. It is performed by Binky Barnes with a chorus of adults and is about Binky claiming "I'm not scared of Santa," though most of the other lyrics seem to suggest otherwise. It is an entirely original tune and unlike the rest of the material on the album, is not either some form of a traditional carol or in some way either featured in or based on material from the television special. However, like "Leftovers Goulash," it is a mashup of traditional music, in this case, Christmas carols, such as "Good King Wenceslas" and "Here We Come a-Wassailing."

Lyrics

Binky

Dear Santa, Binky again. I just wanna remind you that there are lots of different ways of delivering stuff that they've invented since you started giving presents. Like the mail. (chuckles) If you just gave my gifts to the postman, then you wouldn't have to come all the way to Elwood City and sneak down our chimney into our dark, dark house.

Every single Christmas
I lie awake
How long can Santa take?

Creeping ever closer
In that big red sleigh
I can't close my eyes
'Cause Santa's on his way

Sneaking gifts into each house
Must be pretty hard, sir
If you're in a hurry just
Drop mine in the yard, sir

Chorus

Santa's getting near your house
He's circling Atlanta

Binky

Don't say that I'll never sleep
But I'm not scared of Santa

Chorus

No, he's not scared of Santa

Binky

Went to Santa's castle
Last week at the mall
When I got in line
He looked nice and small

But his boots were giant
And his beard was weird
Plus they took the picture wrong
'Cause I look scared!

Chorus

Santa wants to talk to you
Climb up into his lap!

Binky

I really wish I could
But I've got some stuff to wrap
But I'm not scared of Santa

Chorus

No he's not scared of Santa

Binky

A giant buckle jingles
Something's in the den
Santa's in the house
Bringing joy again

Wish that he could visit
Every single night
But, he won't do that, will he?
I mean, that's not possible, right, right?

Chorus

It's that time of year

Binky

For Ho Ho Ho Sir

Chorus

And he's almost here

Binky

He's getting closer

Chorus

Are you in fear?

Binky

Nnnnnno sir!
I'm not scared of Santa
No, I'm not scared

Santa

Ho ho ho!

Binky

No, I'm not scared

Santa

Ho ho ho!

Binky

No, I'm not scared of Santa
Those elves are pretty creepy, though.

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