Arthur Read: Have you ever been with someone who... <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy Crosswire: Wait! Wait! Slow down!  Arthur is saying, "Have you ever been with someone who..."  OK, you can keep going! <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: ..someone who has to write down everything that happens? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: "Someone who has to write down everything that happens?" <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Stop!  I'm TRYING to play tennis! <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Arthur misses the shot.  Your backhand needs some work. <p class="MsoNormal">[ARTHUR GRUNTS] <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Arthur grunts when he serves. <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: What?! No, I don't! <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Now Arthur is losing his cool. <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: I am not losing my cool!  I just don't like you writing down every single thing I do!  Argh! <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Arthur, I think you would do a lot better if you pay more attention to the game.  Ohh! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Excuse me! Excuse me! I have an announcement!  This holiday weekend, I will be going to Costa Rica!  If you want to learn more about my exciting adventures, you can visit my new blog. <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Thank you, Muffy. I'll try to swing by. Can I bring anything? <p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Blog is short for weblog.  When you blog, you write your thoughts in a computer file and post them on a website for others to read. <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Fascinating. I have to write this down. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: As I was saying, even though none of you can afford to come with me, don't feel bad - just read the Muffington Post! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Trip: Hey, hey, I'm Trip. Can I help you find something?  A USB port, peripherals, MP3s? <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: I'm looking to get a new computer.  One that can connect me to...the... internet. <p class="MsoNormal">Trip: They all do that. What kind of connection do you have now? <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Er...none, actually. I do have a telephone. <p class="MsoNormal">Trip: A newcomer like you should start with our most...user-friendly version.  It's pricey, but well worth the expense. <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: All right, class.  Your next project will involve research on a favourite author.  Now... <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: I'm back! <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: How was Costa Rica? <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: Was it rainy? <p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Was it as great as you said in your blog? <p class="MsoNormal">Brain: How did you get to blog so much? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Now, now. I know you have lots of questions about my trip, and I promise to answer them all later - on my blog. <p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Did you need to learn Costa Rican? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Binky! They speak Spanish there. I think.  Anyway, just post your questions on my blog.  Even though I'll only have time to respond to the best ones. <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: "The response to my blog was overwhelming.  Many of you commented that my blog could change the face of blogging."

Arthur: Now she's blogging about...blogging?! <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Where are those instructions?  This is it?  But there's no writing on it.  Ah, I probably have to put it in the computer.  But how do I turn the computer on without reading what's on this silver disc?  It's a paradox! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: And with the MySmartphoney, I can connect to the internet anywhere! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Cool! Can you get on the internet now? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: I've been on since I got up. In fact, I should write about this right now in my blog. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: What are you writing? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You'll just have to wait and see! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Hm. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Hey! Where'd they go? Probably running home to read my blog. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: [GASPS] But...I was in the middle of a post! <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: You can have this...calculator back at the end of class. <p class="MsoNormal">[BELL RINGS] <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: This is indeed a fascinating device.  But it's now allowed in the classroom.  And you need to do other things in life besides blogging. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: That's true!  If I don't do other things, I won't have anything to blog about! Thanks! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Can we PLEASE do something else? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Hold on! I missed a lot of post today when Mr Ratburn took my phone. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: But I came over to your house to do something together! <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: OK! Let's read my next post together! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I'd rather just talk to you. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Oh, Francine. Talking is so 20th century! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: [SIGHS] <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: All right. Booting up, and...Huzzah! I'm connected to the internet!  Computer: 'You have 17 new messages.' <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: My, that was fast.  "Earn money from home without doing any work"?  Now THERE'S an idea! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: So, has everyone read my blog today? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine, Buster and Binky: [SIGH] <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Why not? I wrote about the colours I'm thinking of for the new curtains in my room. <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: Muffy, your blog is getting a little...boring. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: [GASPS] <p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You can't just write that you had a salad for lunch.  Who wants to read that?! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: A blog needs to have an angle. Something people CARE about. <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Jules Verne began his career writing for Opera. <p class="MsoNormal">[PHONE RINGS] <p class="MsoNormal">Hello? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Francine, I found an angle, just like you said!  Are you at your computer? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Yeah, but... <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Go to my blog!  It's important! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: [SIGHS] <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: "Your humble blogger dissed by BFF. Take the poll - Was Francine right or wrong to refuse to read her best friend's blog? Vote now!"?!  Ooh! I can't believe her!  "Dear Muffy, you have no right to take a poll about whether I should read your silly blog." <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: I don't think there was anything wrong with your e-mail to Muffy - No matter what the polls say. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: How do you know what was in my e-mail? <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: Muffy posted it on her blog. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: She what?! <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Francine, that fight we had was great!  It generated the most traffic I've had in a week! <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: (That was just between you and me! Can't anything be private?!) <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: That's a good topic for discussion! I'll post it! <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: My mom says, "Never put anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't want on the front page of a newspaper." <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Newspaper! That's it! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Taking the Frensky Star online makes good business sense.  All set - the online edition is up and running. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: "It has long been the policy of the Frensky Star to speak out against injustice.  Therefore, we must condemn a new bully of the blogosphere."

Brain: Aren't you supposed to cover news? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Our motto is "the latest in Elwood City news and opinion." <p class="MsoNormal">Brain: But that's ALL opinion. Where's the news? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I've got it!  "Breaking news - The Frensky Star is now online!" <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: "Bully of the blogosphere"?!  Ha! "Some people aren't just bad friends.  They're also copycats.  How much of a copycat do you think Francine is?  Copycat-ish, very copycat-ish or extremely copycat-ish?  Vote now!"

Francine: The nerve!  "Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, The Muffington Post hits a new all-time low." <p class="MsoNormal">[PHONE BEEPS] <p class="MsoNormal">[COMPUTER BEEPS] <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur and Buster: [GASP] <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: "Dear N. Ratburn, Congratulations!  You have won a great deal to buy swamp land in Florida." Goody!  Close... No! Not more windows. Close! Close! <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Have you been following Francine and Muffy's feud on the Internet? <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: It's better than the time the bionic bunny battled Darth Bunny in the 7th dimension. <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Don't you feel bad that you're enjoying their fight so much? <p class="MsoNormal">Buster: I felt bad for enjoying Bionic Bunny's galactic exile, but that didn't stop me from watching it. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I did not. You started it. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: I was just blogging. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: You wrote that I wasn't your best friend any more. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You wrote that I betrayed your trust. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Well, you did! <p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Hey, guys! You've got to come look on the library computers.  There's a whole website devoted to Muffy and Francine's feud! <p class="MsoNormal">Both Francine and Muffy: What? <p class="MsoNormal">Brain: "And the funniest part is they're both doing the same thing they're accusing the other one of." Signed, Mr Chatterblog. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: He has no right to say those things about us. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Who is this Mr Chatterblog anyway? <p class="MsoNormal">Binky: So, do you like my blog? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: You? <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You? <p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Hey, I call them as I see them. I already got 112 hits. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: We don't need to take this, do we, Francine? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: No, we don't.  From now on, if I insult you it's going to be in private. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Ditto! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: "Frensky Star and Muffington Post announce merger." <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: That's right! We're pooling our resources. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: And we're starting a new advice column called ‘She Said, She Said’. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You send in your problem and get two opinions about what to do. <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Muffy! You were completely ahead of the curve on this internet thing.  My new Boysenberry allows me to post from just about anywhere. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: You're writing a blog, Mr Ratburn? <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: It's called The Rat's Nest. It's mainly devoted to correcting common solecisms and grammatical errors.  You should post your comments. <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Er...maybe later, Mr Ratburn. <p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Want to go to the park? <p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I thought you'd never ask. <p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: There are also some delightful puns on my blog.  And word problems and photos from my trip to Reykjavik.