Introduction[]
A screen shows Albert Einstein in front of the Brandenburg Gate.
Albert Einstein (on screen): Time is relative. Here in Berlin it's 6:48 am und 20 seconds.
The screen is part of Brain’s watch which he is showing to Arthur when they are supposed to be playing soccer.
Brain: My new Chrono 3000 tells the time in 50 different countries. In Helsinki it's 7:49. Arthur runs with the ball. Brain follows while still looking at his watch. In Matsuyama it's almost three in the morning. That's Japan. In Wellington, New Zealand...
Arthur passes to Francine, who passes to Binky.
Binky: An open shot! I'm gonna score!
Brain: In Paraguay... Ah! He runs into Binky. A Mighty Mountain player takes the ball. (gasps)
***
After the game, Brain, Arthur and Binky walk off the field. Brain holds his broken watch.
Brain: Arthur, tell Binky I'm not talking to him until he apologizes.
Binky: Me?! Tell Brain, till he apologizes for blowing my shot, never speaking's just fine!
Brain: Oh, yeah? Arthur, tell Binky...
A car horn blows. Buster waves from his mother’s car.
Arthur: Sorry, gotta go.
He gets into the Baxters’ car.
Brain and Binky stand motionless by the side of the parking lot while the other kids are picked up. Eventually, Mr. Crosswire drives up to them with Muffy in the back seat.
Mr. Crosswire: Muffy's got a ballet class. Do either of you need a ride?
Brain: My mom's coming any moment now.
Binky: Oh yeah? Well, my mom's taking me to the movies.
Mr. Crosswire: So you're okay waiting?
Brain: I am, but maybe Binky is not!
Binky: I can wait 10 times longer than him!
Mr. Crosswire gives them the thumbs up and drives off.
Binky: Gee, my mother's never late. Hey, Brain, do you know what time it is?
Brain: Grrr!
Title Card: Binky Blows Bubble[]
Binky sits on the curb while Brain paces.
Binky: How long did you say we’ve been waiting?
Brain: I don't know. You broke my watch, remember? And I thought we weren't talking to each other!
Pause.
Binky: So how long do you think we've been waiting?
Brain: I don't know. A long time!
Binky: Aw, I knew it! What if my mother never comes?!
In his imagination, the Barnes parents sit in the living room reading. Mrs. Barnes checks her watch
Mrs. Barnes: Oh my goodness, I'm late to pick up Binky.
Mr. Barnes: Let's not pick him up. It's so nice and quiet without him.
Mrs. Barnes: You're right. We can watch what we want on TV for once.
Mr. Barnes: And think of the savings. Food, clothes, sitters.
The Barnes parents hold a jumble sale with Binky’s things. A boy carries off a mounted moose head.
Mrs. Barnes: That was Binky's favorite. Enjoy!
The Barnes parents sit in deck chairs on a cruise ship.
Mrs. Barnes: Ah, this is the life! No dinners to cook, no rooms to clean and best of all, no... What was our son's name again?
Mr. Barnes: I forget.
Mr. and Mrs. Barnes: (laugh)
They clink glasses.
The fantasy ends.
Binky: They've forgotten me.
Brain: Binky, be logical. Our mothers are probably just stuck in traffic.
Binky: On a Sunday?
Brain: Well, maybe something's causing the traffic.
In his imagination, his mom sits in her car in a traffic jam and checks her watch. The camera moves along the line off cars. In front of the first one is a duck.
Driver: Hey hey hey!
The fantasy ends.
Binky: Come on, all that traffic from just one duck?
Brain: Well, it could be a whole family of ducks.
Binky: But can't ducks fly?
Brain: Mmm, that's true. But ostriches can't!
In his imagination, the traffic jam is now caused by a group of ostriches on the road in front of Farmer Taylor’s Ostrich Farm. Mrs. Powers and Mrs. Binky sit in their cars.
Brain (narrator): Or maybe there was a rip in the time/space continuum.
Ostriches and cars are pulled upwards by a red beam of light. The circle in front of a galaxy.
Brain (narrator): According to Einstein's theory of relativity, they would be travelling at speeds that'd make time move slower for them than for us here on earth.
Einstein floats by.
Albert Einstein: Time is relative. Time is relative.
Brain (narrator): Meaning, they could show up years from now without realizing how long it's been.
Brain and Binky sit on the curb with long beards. Behind them is a futuristic city. A rift opens above them and three ostriches and Mrs. Barnes’ car drop out.
Mrs. Barnes: Sorry, we're a few minutes late.
Old Brain: A few minutes?! We've been waiting 70 years for you, young whippersnappers.
The fantasy ends.
Brain: (gulps)
Binky: You're really weird!
Brain: I'm just saying, we need to examine all the possibilities.
Binky: Maybe they'll feel bad about being so late. In fact, this could be the best day of our lives.
Brain: What are you talking about?
Binky: We've been waiting so long, our parents will feel really guilty, and then we've got it made.
Binky sits at the dinner table in front of a birthday cake.
Binky: It's a great cake, but where are the presents?!
Mrs. Barnes: Well, sweetums, you've had 13 birthday parties this year alone, so this time we figured you'd be happy with just the cake.
Binky: Do I need to remind you how long I waited in the cold, the howling wind...?
Mr. Barnes: Yes, but...
Binky: Or perhaps I could tell the local newspaper all about it.
He picks up a phone. His dad leaves the room.
Mrs. Barnes: Oh dear. Daddy's running to the toy store right now.
Binky: And swing by the ice-cream parlor while you're at it! This cake's looking a little bare!
The fantasy ends.
Binky: And the longer we wait...
Brain: ...the greater their guilt! And here I thought you were held back because you weren't so smart.
He sits down and leans against a tree. Binky lies down beside him.
Binky: Nope, it was so I could pass on my wisdom to you youngsters.
Brain: Well, our moms can take their sweet time.
Binky: You said it. Every extra minute of waiting is like money in the bank!
Pause.
Binky: Ah, except for one thing. Waiting's really boring without TV.
Brain: You don't need TV to pass the time. A good book on 18th century land reform would do.
Binky: If you say so. But we don't have that either.
Brain: Well, what did people do before television and books?
Binky looks at the sky.
Binky: Watched clouds?
Brain: Clouds, of course! That'll pass loads of time. See, there's a cumulus and a cumulonimbus. Oh, and look, a stratocumulus cirrus.
Binky: You're doing it all wrong! You're supposed to use your imagination.
Brain: Okay, then... what does that one look like?
Binky: Wow, it looks just like...
Brain: Yeah, an amoeba!
Binky: An amoeba? I was going to say that white cottony thing like what you clean ears with.
Brain: You mean... a swab?
Binky: Yeah, a swab! Except without the stick.
Brain: Binky, concentrate! Surely you see an amoeba?
Binky grabs Brain’s collar.
Binky: I don't see an amoeba! I see a swab!
Brain: Okay, okay, it's a stickless swab!
***
Some time later, the boys have just finished a game of tic-tac-toe made out of sticks and stones.
Brain: Wow, another tie.
Binky: Brain...what's an amoeba?
Brain: It's a one-celled microscopic... No, I can't take it! I am so bored!
Binky: We must have broken the world record for waiting.
They kneel down.
Brain: Please, Mom, we won't make you feel guilty!
Binky: Just come and pick us u-u-up! Hey! He rearranges the tic-tac-toe game. H... E...
Brain: What are you doing?
Binky: There! That should do the trick.
He has spelled HELP with small stones.
Brain: Binky, that only works if we're waiting for a plane, not a car.
Binky: Oh.
Brain: Or, in this case, gnats!
Binky sees some shoes lying nearby.
Binky: Hey, look, a pair of cleats! Someone must have left them behind.
Brain: Binky, do you understand what this means? Someone will come back for them!
Binky: And we'll be saved!
They link arms and dance.
Binky+Brain: (Yes, yes! Woo-hoo!)
Binky: That is... if we don't die of hunger, first.
Brain: I have carrots. My mom packed them.
He takes out a plastic bag with small carrots.
Binky: She works in an ice-cream parlor and all she packs are carrots?
Brain: Would you prefer a turnip?
He takes out another bag. Binky’s stomach rumbles.
Binky: (gasps) I just remembered! He searches his duffel bag. My mom packed them when she still loved me. Peanut butter crackers!
He takes one out. Brain licks his lips. Binky hesitates, then gives Brain a cracker and a juice carton. Binky puts a straw in another carton.
Brain: Thanks, Binky. I'm sorry I made you miss that goal.
Binky: That's okay. I'm sorry I broke your watch.
Brain: To never fighting again. They clink juice cartons. You may want to conserve. Who knows how long we'll be here? He breaks his cracker in half. As you see, I only took one sip of juice and I've divided my rations to last five more hours.
Binky has his mouth full.
Binky: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm starving! Those crackers made me thirsty.
He looks at Brain’s half cracker.
Brain: Too bad!
In Binky’s imagination, the cranberries on the juice carton start talking.
Cranberries: It was your juice box to begin with, Binky, and we're so quenching!
Brain: Er... Binky?
Binky: The cranberries are right!
Both boys grab the juice carton.
Binky+Brain: (struggle)
They roll on the ground.
Binky: Give it! Give that juice!
Brain: Stop it!
Binky: Got it!
He drinks.
Brain: That was my juice! And it wasn't a fair fight! You're bigger than I am!
Binky: That doesn't matter. On World of Wrestling, Tiny Tommy Tornado always wins because he has the better moves.
A short fantasy shows a small wrestler standing on a big wrestler’s chest.
Brain: All that wrestling is fake.
Binky: Not all of it. Hey, look. Take my arm, like this. A moment later, Binky is on the ground. Hey! Okay, I'll call.
Brain: Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?
Binky: (gasps for air) Sure. Nice reverse hammer flip back there. You're a natural.
Brain: Wow, that was great! And it passed the time!
They shake hands.
Binky: Hey, do you hear something?
They see a dog eating the rest of Brain’s cracker.
Brain: No! My crackers! Come back, you miserable cur! He chases the dog. Okay, if we catch him, we can attach a rescue note to his collar. Come on!
Both boys chase the dog onto the soccer field.
While they are gone, the Baxters’ car stops and Arthur jumps out.
Arthur: Here they are.
He gets his cleats.
Buster: Hey, someone made a sign. K-E-L-P. Kelp? Hm. Hey, Arthur, isn't kelp a type of seaweed?
Arthur: I think so. Too bad Brain's not here. He'd know.
He gets in the car and they drive off. Binky and Brain run after the car.
Binky+Brain: Wait! Stop! Save us!
Brain: I'm reaching the end of my rope.
Binky: (sobs) I want my mommy! I want my mommy!
They lie down on the grass.
Brain: Soon, the night, and then, the wolves. Binky, we're going to die!
Binky: (sobs) It was nice knowing you, Brain.
Brain: Likewise...Binky.
He closes his eyes.
Mrs. Barnes: Binky?
Mrs. Powers: Alan? Alan, what are you doing?
Brain opens his eyes. Their mothers are standing over them.
Binky+Brain: Mom! We're saved!
They hug their mothers.
They all walk to the Barnes’ car.
Mrs. Powers: And I had an appointment at the medical building where Binky's mother works, so we decided to car pool here together.
Brain: And that's it?!
Binky: What took you all these hours?!
Mrs. Barnes: Huh? What are you talking about? We're only 15 minutes late. See?
She shows Binky her watch.
Binky+Brain: 15 minutes??
They get into the car.
Binky: Gee, you were right after all. I know you think it was 15 minutes but according to Einstein's theory of relativity, it was actually a lot longer than 15 minutes.
Mrs. Barnes looks surprised, Mrs. Powers smiles.
Mrs. Powers: Well, Alan, we still have time to go to the bookstore, if you want.
Brain: Are you kidding? World of Wrestling is on TV, and I don't want to miss a single minute!
They drive off.