Arthur: Treasure Island, one of my favorite books. When I read it, I imagine I'm a pirate, like Long John Silver. Avast. Thar lies the X. Dig up the buried treasure lad. (Pal digs and retrieves a bone.) Human treasure, lad, not buried treasure. Keep digging. Okay, you can stop digging now. Imagining I'm someone else is one of the things I love about reading. But I wonder what it'd be like if I could actually be someone else, like Mr. Ratburn.
Mr. Ratburn: Good morning, class. Let's start the day off with a little math quiz. (students groan) That wasn't a very big groan. Maybe I'm getting too soft on them. On second thought, let's start the day with a big math test! (students groan louder) Ah! That's more like it.
Arthur: Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you imagine what it's like to be me for a day and I'll imagine what it's like to be you? Okay, ready? (hypnotically) You are becoming me... You are becoming me... You are becoming me... You are becoming me...
Arthur: Ten toes, ten fingers. Yep, I'm all here. (yawns) (grunts) (doll squeaks) Good morning, Arthur.
D.W.: Arthur! Stop talking to yourself. Do you have any idea what time it is?
Arthur: It's only 7:30.
D.W.: Oh, so that's what it says. Well, you better get moving or you'll be late for training.
Arthur: Training? For what? (Pal whimpers) The 3K race—it's today! Oh, no, I completely forgot I signed up for it.
Mrs. Turner: Care to enter the library's 3K race, Arthur? It's to raise money for a new children's reading room.
Arthur: Gee, I don't know. How far is three kilometers?
Brain: It's exactly 1.86 miles. The most we've ever run in school is half a mile. It might be too long for you.
Arthur: So, why are you signing up?
Brain: My dad and I run on the weekends. Three kilometers will be a snap for me.
Arthur: Huh! too long for me? We'll see about that. (clears throat) 3K, huh? No sweat.
Arthur: 1.86 miles—that really seems like a lot now but I'd like to show the Brain I can run just as far as he can. I guess a little training couldn't hurt.
Arthur: Ouch! Ouch! Hey! Ow! Ow! You're hurting me.
D.W.: It's for your own good, Arthur. You should stretch before your trainers get here.
Arthur: Trainers? I thought you were my trainer.
Tommy: Hi, Arthur.
Timmy: Ready for your workout?
Arthur: Oh, no.
D.W.: Trust me, Arthur. If you can survive an hour with them, the race will be a snap. (Arthur groans) (panting)
Tommy: (giggling): I've got you now!
Arthur: That was close.
Timmy: Not close enough!
Arthur: No! (Arthur sputtering)
Arthur: You already said 20.
D.W.: I don't know what comes after 20.
Tommy: Hey, Timmy! I bet I can spin the rope faster than you.
Tommy: Can, too.
Arthur: Hey, guys, slow down. It's too fast. I can't keep up. Stop. Aah!
D.W.: Arthur, never say "stop" when you're jumping rope. (Arthur groans)
Tommy: Okay, run to that tree. And back. Now to the sandbox. (panting heavily) Pick up the purple dinosaur. Now bring it back... quick. (panting and gasping) Thanks. (twins giggling)
D.W.: Hey! They stole my dinosaur!
D.W.: (Arthur chewing noisily, gulping) Arthur wants some more pancakes, Dad.
Arthur: I do?
D.W.: You need lots of crabs so you'll have energy for the race.
David: "Carbs," D.W. It's short for "carbohydrates."
D.W.: Trust me, Arthur. (Arthur groaning)
Arthur: I ate too much. Mom, could you slow down? I feel a little carsick.
David: You know, Arthur, if you feel nauseous you don't have to run.
Arthur: I could just skip the race. But what if the library can't raise enough money for the children's reading room?
Mrs. Turner: Isn't it wonderful?
Mr. Haney: It certainly is. (knocking on wall)
Man: Haney, this is the foreman of the building crew. You are five dollars short so we had to leave out some features like doors and windows.
Mr. Haney: Wait, don't go. I have five dollars right here!
Foreman: Throw in another ten, and we'll give you a roof, too. (thunder)
Mr. Haney: We're doomed!
Mrs. Turner: And it's all because Arthur signed up for the race but didn't run.
Mr. Haney: Hmm.
Arthur: No, I should run. I feel okay.
D.W.: I know what you need, Arthur. Let's see... I had it just last week. Something to settle your stomach. (insect buzzing) Arthur: Eww. Mom, pull over... quick.
Before The Race
Buster: Hi, Arthur. You don't look quite yourself today.
Arthur: Really? I was a little carsick on the ride over but now I feel fine.
Buster: No, that's not it. Is there someone inside your head watching everything you do on a TV set? (knocks glass)
Arthur: Cut it out.
Brain: Hey, Arthur.
Brain: Oh, these are my new condor 86x low riders with pump action. They inflate when I clap my hands... (claps) and give me an extra spring to my step.
Arthur: Oh, yeah. Well, these are my, uh, lucky sneakers. I wear them for all my races.
Brain: Well, don't push yourself too hard. Remember, Arthur, walking across the finish line still counts.
Arthur: Yeah, but finishing before you would be a lot of fun.
Mr. Haney: On your mark...
Muffy: Wait! Isn't the Elwood City Times covering the race? I want to look my best.
Mr. Haney: Ahem. On your mark, get set... (starter pistol fires) (Arthur gasps)
Arthur: Oh, no! (cheering and applause) (Arthur panting) Huh? Hey! Hi, grandma. Hi... Brain.
Brain: Hmm? How did you...
Arthur: Sorry, can't talk now. Got to run. (panting) (chuckling) Actually, this isn't so bad. I don't feel tired at all. Hey, I might even win this race. (cheering)
Mr. Haney: Congratulations, Arthur. Yours was the fastest time in Elwood City history.
Mrs. Turner: And we've decided to name the new reading room the Read Reading Room, after you.
Mr. Haney: You ran a great race! You should be very proud of yourself.
Brain: You're doing really well. You know, we should run together someday.
Brain: But not today! (claps) (shoes squeaking as they inflate)
Muffy: Yoo-hoo, over here! Try to get my good side.
Arthur: Muffy, watch out. There's a...
Muffy: Ow! Ow! (sobbing)
Arthur: Muffy, are you all right? (sobbing)
Muffy: No, I'm not all right. My new outfit is ruined.
Arthur: I'll never catch up with the brain now. Oh, well, there will be other races. (panting) (crowd cheering)
D.W.: Come on, Arthur! Just a few more steps. You can do it! (crowd cheering) (applause)
Dad: Yay! Way to go! That's my boy!
Arthur: Thanks. (gulping loudly)
D.W.: Don't drink too much, Arthur. You don't want to practice on a full stomach.
Arthur: Practice? For what?
D.W.: The marathon, of course. It can't be much longer than this race. Maybe it's ten Ks or four Ls or a Q. We'll ask Tommy and Timmy this afternoon.
Arthur: Oh, brother! (gulping loudly)
Arthur: Wow! Check it out. I'm famous. That's even better than winning the race. Well, I hope you enjoyed being me for a day. I really liked being you. But next time, let's switch. You run the race, and I'll watch me on TV.